


Will we always have Crema? PART II

by azon



Series: Charmie Tarot Reading Fanfic series [6]
Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: 36 questions, M/M, tarot fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:53:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22134349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azon/pseuds/azon
Summary: They not only had a rehearsal, they also had a set of questions. 36 to be exact. Intended to bare their souls and make Armie very uncomfortable.
Relationships: Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer
Series: Charmie Tarot Reading Fanfic series [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1453372
Comments: 12
Kudos: 23





	Will we always have Crema? PART II

**Author's Note:**

  * For [e_mors](https://archiveofourown.org/users/e_mors/gifts).



> I was gone forever, I know but I’ve been toying this idea for a while and finally got the energy to write it down. 
> 
> This episode is inspired primarily by Seafrest [Seafrest music video Wildfire](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHhkd2B87Q8) and the study in which said video is based; [Arthur Aron et al’s study “The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness”](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0146167297234003?hc_location=ufi). This study posits a set of 36 questions can make 2 strangers fall in love. Said questions are divided into 3 groups and increase in complexity and emotional depth and finish with the instruction of looking at each other for 4 minutes in silence. In the original study, 1 couple ended up getting married after the experiment. In the video (according to youtube comment) 2 couples exchanged numbers and went for drinks (hoping the elderly couple was one of them, I want them happy!!)
> 
> All questions and reference to them will be in italics.
> 
> Here is the complete set of questions and some extra info about the study.  
> [set of questions and instructiions](https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/36_questions_for_increasing_closeness)

It was Lucas idea. He came to them after breakfast about a week after their first meeting with a piece of paper and an idea. Instructions really. He told them to read the questions to each other, use them to get to know each other better, turned around, and left. Taken aback, they browsed through the first couple of questions and agreed. They were fairly innocent questions that albeit personal, were nothing they wouldn't share with the other if given the context for it.  _ When did you last sing to yourself? For what in your life do you feel most grateful? If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be? Mind or body of your 30 year-old self until you are 90?  _ They decided to do the exercise that night after dinner and Timmy went to join Michael and Amira for rehearsal while Armie spent his morning trying clothes and regretting his thighs.

That afternoon, Armie had a break and decided he wanted to prepare. He knows he is cheating, they promised that morning the surprise factor was needed for the exercise to really work but there was something about the hurry in Luca’s words that made him feel the man was hiding something or at least trying to avoid interrogation. When he got to the second set of questions it hit him: This wasn't a random break-the-ice/ get-to-know-people-better exercise, this was a late 90’s experiment and the whole point of it was to find out if this set of questions would make 2 strangers fall in love. How come he didn’t remember, he studied it in his acting classes. Ok, breathe... sure, Luca needs chemistry, sensuality and sexual tension. This is in the service of the characters and the story… you can lie, you are an actor. 

Ok…  _ a problem you need help with? _ …. shorts are too short...  _ regrets if you die tonight? _ not having made a movie with de Niro….. what?

...It is not like his real problem is his inability to breathe normally around him since Luca walked away from them while in the grass, and his regret definitely isn’t not having the balls to break character during rehearsal….

No. The kid doesn't need to know, he is an actor, he can lie.

He goes back on the questions and gulps so hard his throat actually hurts.  _ Relationship with my mother? _ Relationship with my...seriously? Breathe Armie, breathe… in and out, in and out. Ok… well, Oliver's relationship with his dad is complicated, he can channel that…. what in the world was Luca thinking? This goes way beyond his duty as an actor to give a good performance, this is shrink territory. He didn't sign for this and what good would it do anyway? sure getting to know each other better will help their performances but what is a 20 year old Timmy gonna do with a sobbing mess lying on the floor unable to stop the tears? He came to Italy to film a movie, not to have a full-on panic attack in front of someone he so desperately wants to be liked by.

He thinks about going to Luca, tell him he cannot do it, that this is where he draws the line, that he has no right to get in his head like this. That it scares him and he doesn't wanna be vulnerable like that in front of Timmy.

Timmy, that tiny ball of fire that inundates him with peace and calm. That in the first day of meeting him got him to share so much about his life without even realising. The boy with soft green eyes that has welcomed him with a big smile and a hug every morning when he picks him up to go meet Luca and start their day and who he would wish he had the courage to hold onto for a little bit longer.

Timmy, this is Timmy, the guy who he met only a bit over a week ago but feel like they have shared a lifetime of banter and shenanigans. A lifetime of knowing his mind and heart. Timmy.

  
  
  


Ready?

The presence behind him is felt before the voice inundates his left ear and makes him jump. He turns around and there he is. It is also dinner time. Did he seriously spent the whole day without Timmy? How? somehow he managed...he doesn't really remember much of his day after the afternoon when he went through the questionnaire in detail. He knows they tried clothes on him and took a million pictures and some light tests. Guess that took hours.

He smiles earnestly and Timmy smiles back but then his teeth disappear behind his lips and a frown cover his forehead

You went through the questions too, didn't you?... Let's worry about it later, I’m hungry let’s go eat .

Dinner went by like they had every evening, sitting together and enjoying the loud conversation and delicious food and wine. Being part of the group but keeping inside their cocoon as well; it was endearing actually for the ones watching them. After the first intimacy rehearsal, it became an open secret that the two had a bond beyond acting. Luca made it very clear that morning to everyone that it was mandatory for them to play dumb if they saw or heard anything. Nobody questioned him as it was obvious to everyone after they saw them come back together giggling and stealing glances that their connection was genuine and needed to be sheltered for as long as possible. Later that morning, Luca and Sayombhu had a long meeting behind closed doors and when they left the room, they called them for a light test where Armie was instructed to lay down with Timmy on top of his chest, his lips touching his neck and nose touching his chin. To Armie, it felt so natural yet so scary, all he had to do was reach out and touch; or rather kiss. His lips were so close and there was nothing he wanted more than to repeat the morning and get lost in Timmy´s soft lips and uneven breathing. 

He didn’t make a move then though, how could he. And now,, back in his apartment after dinner sitting on the floor in front of Timmy and his honest gaze piercing into his soul, he takes a deep breath and looks down. There is so much he wants to say, so much he wants to do. So much he wished he had the courage to admit to himself. But all he has balls for is a weak smile. Timmy is reading his soul and knows he is bulshitting him with his answer but doesn’t say anything. He only smiles back and goes for his turn.

...change anything about the way I was raised, let’s see… I love New York. And Hell’s Kitchen. I cannot imagine growing up anywhere else...my parents are amazing, so is my sister. She got me into La Guardia, did I tell you that? hmmm maybe my bedtime? it was quite early up to age 12… guess I’m boring… 

He wasn’t ready for question 1 of section 2. He knew it was coming, he had his own copy of the questionnaire in his hand but he wasn’t ready. 

_ If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know? _

Silence, hesitancy and cold sweat 

“Armie, we don’t have to do this if you don’t feel comfortable. I get it, these questions are personal” Timmy places the piece of paper on the floor next to him and attempts to get up.

“Then how come you just answer them all without a sweat?” - Armie’s words come out harsher than he intended, Timmy looks at him in surprise but quickly smiles and sits down back again. This time closer, knees almost touching.

“Armie, I am a drama kid, I am professionally trained to wear my heart on my sleeve”

“Well, I am an actor, I should be too” - All insecurities hit Armie like a ton of bricks, he is self conscious and he looks down. 

“No...Armie...no… that is the whole point”- Timmy sighs and lowers his head, looking for Armie’s eyes. He waits until Armie meets them. “Fuck Luca, don’t you see what he did? This is for you, not me. He knows that I...that I have no issues baring my soul in the service of a story because I have nothing to hide and nothing to fear. But you… I think I finally understand why he chose you”

“What do you mean” Armie knows he shouldn’t sound so defensive but it is either this, or run. The kid has to take it.

“Armie...I know you have been bulshitting me. I know your parents letting you watch Baywatch is not  _ what you would change about the way they raised you _ , I know your _ life summary _ ignored all the keypoints no matter how hard you tried to highlight the unimportant moments and I know you don’t  _ have a hunch on how you will die _ but you are terrified of dying; what was that about “I know I will die doing something stupid?” I’ve known you for what, 10 days? and even I can see that is not true. Armie you are so…

“So what!! - He is on his feet, his head is spinning, he cannot do this - “you don’t know me Timmy, we hang out and have been honest to each other for the sake of character preparation but that’s all. Sorry if you thought there was more to it and we were going to cry in the other’s shoulders and save each other from our childhoods”

And with that, he storms off. Timmy takes a deep breath and follows him downstairs. Man this guy has long legs, 3 stairs at a time and he can’t catch up. Finally, he reaches him at the corner, he is turning left, although his apartment is to the right.

“Armie, wait! we need to talk about this” - Armie turns around so fast he bumps into him and he has to take a step back. He is red in the fce and tears are falling down his face.

“About what!  _ My relationship with my mother? Last time I cried in front of someone? A personal problem _ ? Well, let me see, my mom and her religion fucked me up, I’m half a man and I will never be good enough. I cried in front of my wife last time because I was afraid of what my mom would say when I accepted this role and she told me to get over it. And, a personal problem?” - he scoffs - “how about you? you Timmy, you are my personal problem and I don’t know what….” - he stops and takes a deep breath, he forces himself to look Timmy in the eye, it won’t be real unless he does - “I cannot do this. I’m sorry I know you think this movie will make you a star but I cannot do this. I will go talk to Luca. I’m out.”

❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹❃.✮:▹

Ok, we know this is not the end but we also know cliffhangers are my signature so don’t even pretend to be shocked. haha!

But only because I’m feeling giving today, a line for next chapter:

  
  


**“Stop hating yourself so much… your family does enough of a job, you don’t need to add any pain to that… there, I said it”.**

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thank you for reading and please give me the good, the bad and the ugly in the comments.
> 
> You can also come hang out with me at tumblr.com/azonip
> 
> This is the light test I refer to in the story in case you don't recall this iconic moent in CMBYN history:


End file.
